Small Team Conflict Management

This is an active topic in my work with project teams. I am attuned to it, so I see it frequently. Many people aren't looking or listening for it. That in itself is a response to conflict - "tuning it out". The model I use most in my training and education is the Thomas-Kilmann Conflict mode (learn more about it here, from Ralph Kilmann's web site). The instrument (30 questions in a booklet) is referred to as the TKI (Thomas-Kilmann Instrument). Quoting from Ralph Kilmann's web site: "it is designed to measure a person's behavior in conflict situations. Conflict situations are those in which the concerns of two people appear to be incompatible. In such situations, we can describe an individual's behavior along two basic dimensions: (1) assertiveness, the extent to which the person attempts to satisfy his own concerns, and (2) cooperativeness, the extent to which the person attempts to satisfy the other person's concerns". Using this as a scale, the instrument categorizes the responses to questions by assigning a numeric value to each of five conflict handling styles: avoid, accommodate, compete, compromise, and collaborate. The numeric value from the TKI response is meant to convey your tendencies toward the use of these styles(highest number reflecting greatest tendency), though it is recognized that we are each capable of any of the styles in a given situation.

The point of using the TKI and exposing project teams to this model is to raise their self awareness and to give them a lens through which to evaluate others and themselves as a group when they face inevitable conflict. Most persons I have educated and trained on this model find it simple and easy to apply. How often they do so is another story! When administering the instrument, I treat the responses as confidential, so I have limited data on tendencies among select populations. A large risk I see is generalizing - such as saying, "Oh yeah, anyone who is a procurement (or contracts, etc) person always tends to be very aggressive, and those people use the COMPETE mode way too often". That's a stereotype I dislike, and I try to enlighten people to look at each person individually, and in certain situations, and recognize our capacity for change in a better way is endless. I'll have more to share on this topic in future posts.